At some point in most marriages, one or both partners realize their sex life has lost the excitement it once held. It is easy to become complacent and say, Well, that is just how marriage works; after a few years sex just isn’t that important anymore. This could not be farther from the truth. While it is true that some of the “newness” will wear off, sex is just as much about bonding and emotional closeness as it is about the sex itself. Simply accepting that your sex life is boring or nonexistent is doing your relationship a huge disservice. Read on to discover a few ways to bring that spark back into your sex life.
Open the lines of communication. Talk to each other about fantasies you may never have shared before. More importantly, be willing to try a few things that might make your partner happy. Sometimes it isn’t about living out the exact fantasy, but there is at least some element within it that you can duplicate. Even just talking and sharing some naughty thoughts can help you see one another in a new – and exciting – light.
Get a change of scenery. One reason your sex life has become mundane is because you keep doing it in the same bed, in the same room, in the same house. Be more adventurous about your location.
Timing is everything. If you’re like most long-married couples, you might only be having sex at the end of the day, in bed, after the kids are asleep. How boring! Not only is it the same every time, but one or both of you is bound to be exhausted. How much fun could that possibly be? Try waking up early instead, and surprising your spouse. Or, if your schedules allow, lure your partner home during a lunch break.
Flirt. Back in the early days of dating, part of the excitement came from all the flirting – just because you’re married is no reason to stop now. Send each other flirtatious or suggestive text messages or emails at random intervals. Keep the fire burning with your words, rather than simply an expectation for sex at the end of the day. Keep it exciting, not routine.
Don’t have sex. Not all foreplay has to lead to sex – in fact, if it does, you’re probably going to fall right back into a boring routine again. Kiss and fondle each other while watching TV, or grope one another quickly while you hide from the kids in the laundry room. Keep it fun and adventurous, without heavy expectations every time you touch one another. By the end of the day – if you’re still doing that end-of-the-day-sex thing – you will hardly be able to wait for one another.