My Inner Action

At some point in most marriages, one or both partners realize their sex life has lost the excitement it once held. It is easy to become complacent and  say, Well, that is just how marriage works; after a few years sex just isn’t that important anymore.  This could not be farther from the truth. While it is true that some of the “newness” will wear off, sex is just as much about bonding and emotional closeness as it is about the sex itself. Simply accepting that your sex life is boring or nonexistent is doing your relationship a huge disservice.  Read on to discover a few ways to bring that spark back into your sex life.

Open the lines of communication. Talk to each other about fantasies you may never have shared before. More importantly, be willing to try a few things that might make your partner happy. Sometimes it isn’t about living out the exact fantasy, but there is at least some element within it that you can duplicate. Even just talking and sharing some naughty thoughts can help you see one another in a new – and exciting – light.

Get a change of scenery. One reason your sex life has become mundane is because you keep doing it in the same bed, in the same room, in the same house. Be more adventurous about your location.

Timing is everything. If you’re like most long-married couples, you might only be having sex at the end of the day, in bed, after the kids are asleep. How boring! Not only is it the same every time, but one or both of you is bound to be exhausted. How much fun could that possibly be? Try waking up early instead, and surprising your spouse. Or, if your schedules allow, lure your partner home during a lunch break.

Flirt. Back in the early days of dating, part of the excitement came from all the flirting – just because you’re married is no reason to stop now. Send each other flirtatious or suggestive text messages or emails at random intervals. Keep the fire burning with your words, rather than simply an expectation for sex at the end of the day. Keep it exciting, not routine.

Don’t have sex. Not all foreplay has to lead to sex – in fact, if it does, you’re probably going to fall right back into a boring routine again. Kiss and fondle each other while watching TV, or grope one another quickly while you hide from the kids in the laundry room.  Keep it fun and adventurous, without heavy expectations every time you touch one another.  By the end of the day – if you’re still doing that end-of-the-day-sex thing – you will hardly be able to wait for one another.

Most women dream of their perfect wedding from the time they are old enough to know what a wedding is. Before they ever even meet their groom, they may have the entire event planned, including carriage rides, white doves, and the perfect dress.But then reality sets in as an adult, and most brides face the realization that their dream wedding would cost as much as their future husband will ever make in a lifetime. Rather than turning into a spoiled, demanding Bridezilla, there are some ways you can cut costs and still have a beautiful and memorable event – without selling a kidney or driving your groom crazy.

The first way to save money is by choosing a location that does not cost an arm and a leg to rent. Sure, everyone wants to get married in a castle – but unless you’re royalty, this is probably out of reach.  There are many beautiful locations that can be rented at a fraction of the cost of the more popular wedding destinations; look around for a gazebo in a beautiful, secluded park, or ask a friend who owns acreage in a rolling countryside. One bonus of these locations is that they rarely require much in the way of decorations, since nature provides that for you.

Speaking of decorations, there are many lovely options for centerpieces that do not have to cost a fortune. A bouquet of wildflowers, tied with a ribbon and placed in a Mason jar, are a very simple and elegant way to decorate tabletops, and they blend nicely with an outdoor setting. Other decorations such as pinecones, acorns, berries and so on, can reflect the season and set the mood nicely – and they are all free.

An open bar is unnecessary and can cost thousands. Instead, provide your guests with bottles of champagne or wine that you purchase yourself. Drinks provided by country clubs and other wedding venues often carry a very high price mark-up, so this is another benefit of choosing an alternate venue.   Purchase these refreshments in bulk, and supply your guests with disposable champagne or wine glasses. Glasses can also be purchased for a small fraction of their original price at thrift stores, and you won’t have to worry about the bill when one or two is broken.

As for food, if you plan your event in the middle of the day, appetizers and finger foods will suffice rather than a full sit-down dinner. Friends can be recruited to help transport the food and set up the buffet, which will be simple with these types of foods

As for the dress, this may be one item some brides simply refuse to compromise on. However, it is worth shopping around just to see what’s out there. An internet search may reveal your dream dress at a fraction of what you had envisioned spending. Thrift stores and consignment shops are also a good source of beautiful dresses. Considering what you might save on the dress, it will be easily affordable to have a seamstress adjust the sizing and even make alterations to make the dress your own.

With a little creativity and help from friends and family, you can pull together a beautiful wedding for a fraction of the cost of most events. In the end, it may be worth doing it this way to save money for a down payment on a house, or to treat yourselves to a extra-special honeymoon.