My Inner Action

Choosing the right dating site is just as important as, if not more important than, writing your profile description or even choosing the right pictures to upload. It is important to choose the site that best suits your needs, and has the type of members you seek.

The first decision is to determine whether you want to try a paid site, or a free site. The free sites sometimes have more members, but the paid sites may feel more secure to you and offer more serious daters. It will really depend upon whether you are looking for serious dating, or if you’d prefer to keep things more casual and your options more open at the moment.

The next decision you need to make, is how much help you expect from the site itself. Do you want guided communication and a lot of personality or chemistry matching? Or would you prefer to peruse profiles at your leisure and directly email the members who interest you? It makes sense to check out each website before subscribing, and get a feel for how the process works. There is no right answer here, and this decision may depend more upon how experienced you already are with dating, and how much involvement you seek from the site you choose.

Also consider whether there is one particular characteristic that is so important in your potential mates, that you would consider a niche dating site. For example, you might only want a very dedicated Christian – there are plenty of those on the other dating sites, too, but if this is a deal maker-or-breaker for you, then one of the popular Christian dating sites might work for you. Another example is if you are seeking a purely sexual relationship – there are sites geared more toward finding “adult friends” than what we tend to think of as actual dating.

Other things to consider when choosing a dating site are its membership numbers and success rate. Compare several sites before choosing one. The best thing to do is join during a “free membership” weekend, which are offered periodically by the leading dating sites. This will allow you to get a feel for how many people in your area are actually using the site, which can be very important if you don’t want to travel a great distance for your dates. After all, a site that boasts 7 million members will probably not work for you if only 4 of them live within 100 miles of you.

Finally, keep in mind that nothing is set in stone. Many sites offer a renewal guarantee – if you follow certain rules during your membership and are unsuccessful, you can get another 6 months for free or at a reduced rate. You can always switch sites as well, if the one you chose just did not suit you. As you become more familiar and comfortable with online dating, one or two sites will emerge as the right fit for you.

One of the things people wonder the most about online dating is, does it really work? Can you actually meet someone and fall in love that way?

The answer is, absolutely! You can definitely meet someone online and have a successful relationship as a result, and the two of you might even end up married someday. The catch is, online dating is only worth what you put into it; with a lot of sincere effort, you can be successful. If you don’t put forth the effort, you’re unlikely to be successful. Really, it is about the same as traditional dating in this respect.

So what are the odds? Currently, about 40 million people use online dating sites. Obviously, it is a great way to meet a variety of people. Since about half of those are the gender you seek, consider that there are about 20 million single people from which you can choose. Surely, among 20 million people, anyone could find success.

Consider, also, that the online dating business is growing rapidly. Currently it brings in about 1 billion dollars in revenue each year, and that number is growing to about 1.3 billion by 2013. This means that more and more people are trying online dating – if out of those 20 million people, you can’t find someone who appeals to you, try again next week. There are new members joining dating sites every day.

If math doesn’t convince you, think about it this way: People who are willing to join a dating site, pay the fees, post pictures, and write a complete profile description are most likely far more motivated toward finding a serious relationship than, say, someone who just happens to sit next to you at a bar. The majority of people who join dating sites, particularly the paid ones, do so because they are conducting a serious search for a real relationship. It makes sense that if two of these serious and motivated people meet up and like one another, they will be successful in their relationship.

If it still seems unbelievable, and if you think those success stories on dating sites are just a marketing ploy, try asking your friends how they met their current significant others. Many people don’t publicize this information and claim they met at a store or a bar, but if you ask, you may find that as many as 50 percent of your friends met their spouses or serious relationship partners online. It can be very encouraging to learn that people you actually know, who have a happy and successful relationship, actually did meet online.

Most women are busy with school and careers these days, or may be raising kids as a single mother, so meeting men can be challenging with such a busy schedule. Gone are the days when women simply graduated from high school and then waited around for a husband to show up. You may wonder how to get a boyfriend when you have so many other demands on your time. Online dating can be an answer to these problems. With online dating, you can date at your convenience.

You don’t have time to sit around waiting for the phone to ring, right? And you probably don’t have as much time to go to parties and other social events as you’d like. If you join an online dating site, you can log in and check your messages from potential boyfriends when you actually have time. You are in control of how much time you spend looking for dates.

The process may seem scary at first, but it is actually pretty simple once you get the hang of it. First you will need to do some research and choose the dating site that seems right for you. Depending upon your preferences, you may want to join a paid site that uses a lot of personality and lifestyle matching, or you may want to use a free site that allows you to take control and search for the men you prefer.

Then the most important thing to do is create an attractive dating profile. Make sure you upload several flattering pictures, because men usually look at these first and are attracted to a woman based on her pictures (you might not like it, but it’s true). Then you need to write an appealing description of yourself, describing your goals and interests in a few paragraphs. A profile that is too short will make you seem uninteresting, and one that is too long may make you seem self-absorbed. Keep it upbeat and friendly, and you will seem more attractive.

After you have created your profile, you can search for men and send them messages, or wait for them to come to you. Either way, it’s a convenient way to meet men, and it fits into your busy schedule.

Online dating has exploded in recent years, and the number of online dating sites has multiplied into the hundreds. For those with busy schedules, or those for whom the bar scene has become stale and uninteresting, online dating offers a new way to meet people from the comfort of your own living room (or office). Signing up for most sites is quick and easy, but once you’re a member you may find all of the various features confusing. Fortunately most dating sites have a similar layout, and there are just a few things you need to know before you get started.

The first thing you need to do is fill out your profile all the way. Fill in all the available spaces, and use detail in describing yourself. If your site offers a “looking for” section, fill that out as well. Many online daters don’t bother with this part, but it is a great way for people who are looking at your profile to judge whether the two of you would be a good match. If you don’t have strong preferences about some items, you can always choose the “Don’t care” option.

Members with pictures have far better luck receiving replies on dating sites, so make sure to upload a picture. Ideally, you should include at least one headshot and one full-body picture. A few more photos of you enjoying your favorite activities would be a nice way to show your personality. Avoid posting pictures where you’re surrounded by members of the opposite sex or partying in a bar, unless of course that is the type of person you hope to attract.

Many online dating sites include offer chemistry or personality matching tests. Make sure you utilize this feature, so that you will be matched with others who are best suited for you. These tests are actually quite accurate and are based on scientific studies of personality types and compatibility.

Now that you have your profile set up and you’ve taken the matching tests, you can wait for your site to offer you matches, or you can go ahead and start searching on your own. Your site probably has search features that allow you to control things like geographical distance and age, so you can search for people who meet your specifications.

Now, you just wait for replies to your winks and emails, and the real fun begins!